The Twitterer In Chief Tweets, Covfefe

The 45th President of the United States hoped to rid himself of the burdens of the ever growing Russia investigations during his recent nine day overseas adventure,  but it was not to be. Through a series of inexplicable actions, our publicity craving Novice in Chief failed to win friends or influence his fellow NATO and G7 leaders. Even worse, the new President returned to the United States to the news that Jared Kushner, his son in law and the Swiss army knife of presidential advisors, is the subject of FBI interest arising out an alleged scheme to set up a communications system within the Russian embassy during the transition period that would have been outside the reach of United States surveillance. Meanwhile, the Twitter in Chief tweets, covfefe.

Saudi Arabia was the first stop for 45th where he made love to the Royal family, signing onto,

“The Saudi line on terrorism, which deflects any blame from the kingdom and redirects it toward Iran.”

While our novice President was handling a glowing orb, the Saudis got an arms deal worth $110 billion that,

“Marks a softening of the U.S. position on the Saudi-led coalition in Yemen’s civil war, which is widely blamed for a high civilian death toll.”

Without a word from her father, the Misogynist in Chief, on the sad state of women’s rights in Saudi Arabia, Ivanka Trump spoke about her proposed Women Entrepreneurs Fund to which the Saudi’s and the UAE agreed to contribute $100 million to be earmarked for Middle Eastern women. This news did not result in the spontaneous breaking out of “lock her up” chants.

Then it was off to Israel, and upon the First Family’s arrival in the Holy Land, we were treated to Melania’s slap of the hand heard around the world. While in Israel, even though he was not asked, the Leaker in Chief confirmed that Israel was the source of the intelligence that he had inexplicably provided to the Foreign Minister and Ambassador to Russia at their May 10, 2017, Oval Office meeting. Our Know Nothing in Chief further embarrassed himself in front of his Israeli hosts by failing to grasp that their country was located in the Middle East.

Next, it was off to Italy for a meeting with the Pope and a photo shoot that appeared to show our New President with a group of hostages. While in Rome there was time for meetings with the Italian President Sergio Mattarella, and with Prime Minister, Paolo Gentiloni, at which our Bill Collector in Chief demanded that Italy meet their financial obligations as a member of NATO.

The next stop was Brussels where our Embarrassment in Chief really kicked things into gear. As a candidate he had referred to the city that is the European Union capital and the NATO headquarters as a “hellhole”. Upon his arrival, the Insulter in Chief was welcomed by some 9,000 protesters and it was suggested by one sign holder that he,

Get the hell out of our hole.”

History confirms that the one and only time that Article 5 of the NATO Charter requiring member states to come to the defense of another member state was invoked happened after the 9/11 attacks on the United States. During the unveiling of the memorial outside of NATO headquarters in honor of Article 5 and the Brain Wall, with foot firmly planted in mouth, the Lecturer in Chief addressed the assembled NATO leaders.The new American President failed to commit to support for Article 5, while also returning to being the Bill Collector in Chief saying that,

“Members of the alliance must finally contribute their fair share and meet their financial obligations.”

Later, our Publicity Hound in Chief, was observed shoving Dusko Markovic, the Prime Minister of Montenegro, out of his way, in an apparent attempt to put himself in front during a photo opportunity.

The G7 economic summit in Taormina, Sicily, was the next and final stop for our tired Bumbler in Chief. The man who once told us that Secretary Hillary Rodham Clinton lacked the stamina to be our Commander in Chief, must have either been ostracized by his fellow leaders, or he was simply unable to walk seven hundred yards to get to the spot for a group picture. While the other six G7 leaders walked, our President took a golf cart.

With this first and long foreign trip completed, the Twitterer in Chief returned to the Washington under a growing cloud of smoke and controversy that has Jared Kushner at the center. We now know that one of the reasons the FBI is looking at Mr. Kushner is the allegation that during the transition period, Kushner talked to Sergey Kislyak, the Russian Ambassador, about setting up a secure communications system with the Kremlin inside the Russian Embassy. Things have gotten worse for the President as now the Senate and House Committees investigating Russiagate are interested in speaking to Michael Cohen. At present, Mr. Cohen, the long time lawyer for this President, is refusing to cooperate.

Worse for the President is that the former and now fired FBI Director, James Comey, has apparently been cleared to testify before the Senate Intelligence Committee by the Special Counsel, Robert Mueller. The White House has not yet denied the Kushner back channel communications requests. While administration officials publicly stated that there was nothing wrong with Kushner actions, true to form, the Twitterer in Chief took to his favorite social media platform tweeting that,

“It is my opinion that many of the leaks coming out of the White House are fabricated lies made up by the #FakeNews media.

Once again, the Fabricator in Chief is wrong. Assuming the truth of these new allegations about Mr. Kushner that took place during the transition period, when Kushner and his father-in-law were both private citizens, necessarily means that no claims of national security confidentiality or of executive privilege could be applicable to any communications involving either of these men before January 20, 2017, when the 45th President of the United States was sworn into office.

But what about covfefe? There seems to be a simple explanation to this strange and seemingly bewildering utterance at 12:06 am on May 31, 2017,  which was as follows,

Despite the constant negative press covfefe.”

Yes, we can all agree that an angry, undisciplined, and possibly tired Twitterer in Chief failed to do basic proof reading before sending the tweet on its way and that he probably meant to say, coverage. Tweet on, Mr. Twitterer in Chief, covfefe. You are doing yourself no favors.

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